The Talk
by Katie'n'Pluto
Summary: Renesmee is almost all grown, and she wants to talk to Jacob about... moving onto a different level of their relationship. He hasn't even kissed her, for Pete's sake! She doesn't know how, so she asks her family before bringing it up with him...
1. Chapter 1 Rosalie and Emmett

-Renesmee's Point of View-

I had known for mostly my whole life who I loved. All of the people I loved were with me at all times; it was hard not to know that I loved them. I could never be far away from them. My mother, my father, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents… And, of course, Jacob.

I knew my mother wished sometimes that I didn't love him, but I couldn't help myself. He was my world, my other half, the reason I was so sappy and believed in true love and everything.

Ever since I was born, I had known that I loved him. Before I was born, really. I had been exceptionally bright for an infant, and I grew at alarming rates. I was months old in weeks, years old in months. And all the while, I knew that I was meant to be with Jacob, that he was the one.

I guess it didn't hurt that everyone around me was in loved, too. All the rest of my family was paired up in little love packages. My mother and father, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents. Even Grandpy Swan was now hooked up and happy. Of course, I could never _see_ him. Only talk to him on the phone.

So, here I was, nearly fully grown (I grew a lot less these days) and I had no idea what to say to Jacob. I knew it was normal to want to take the next step in the relationship, but it was so hard to talk about it. I mean, it wasn't like I couldn't just walk up to him randomly and be like "Hey, Jake, you know, I'm around 17, I'm not getting any older after this, what do you want to do?" and wink a few times, right?

…Or could I?

It's not like it was that big a deal, either. I wasn't extremely obsessed with… sex… but… I'd known him for almost nine years and he had never even kissed me!

Sure, sure, perhaps he was just being a gentleman, and yeah, I knew that he loved me too, but… I couldn't help but feel rejected in some strange, stupid way. Like, he wasn't kissing me not because he didn't want to make me feel rushed or anything, but because he didn't want to kiss me.

There were plenty of people I could talk to about this problem, and none of them would have judged or made fun of me (at least, not in a mean way), but I had no idea who to go to first. I wanted as many opinions as I could get, though.

I decided, after a long eternal debate with myself, to just walk into the house and ask whoever showed up first.

So I nervously trudged into the house that my grandparents called their own, that they "lived" in. None of my family truly lived, in that sense of the word. They existed.

As always, the large manor was swarmed with family members; I could hear them hustling around the house. I kept walking; my head down, my face flushing at the mere thought of discussing something so personal.

"Hey, hey, hey!" a loud, strong, booming voice exploded to my felt. "Look who it is! Hello, beautiful lady!"

Before I could say anything I was being lifted off of the floor by the strong, rock hard, muscular arms that encircled me caught me in an unbreakable, tight bear hug. "How are you, bunny?"

I smiled as my Uncle Emmett put me back on my feet. "Uhm, I'm good…" I looked around uneasily, hoping he wouldn't notice the crack in my voice.

"Oh, oh. What was this, are you lying?" he gave me a jokingly skeptic look.

"…No." Damn it, there went that cracking again.

"Ness…"

"Look, never mind, it's not a big deal…" I grumbled, loosing all of my will, never wanting to do anything but go home and crawl into my covers.

"Renesmee Cullen, you listen to me now—" he started.

I did not know how to say it to him, how to say it to anyone, so instead I just pressed my palm against one of his rippling muscles in his forearm, showing him my thoughts and how I felt.

Once he got the most of it, he pulled away, his warm eyes wider than I had ever seen them before.

"Uh…" he rubbed then back of his neck nervously. "Aw, crud, why did I have to walk into this room and be the first one you saw…" he grumbled to himself.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Emmett. Never mind." I shook my head, I started to walk away.

His arms pulled me back and sat me on the sofa. "Look, Nessie, I am only going to talk to you about this once, and after that, you have to bring it up with your dad, or mom, or—Oh, oh! Jasper! Ooh, I would love to see his face when you tell him you want to talk about sex…" he chuckled and shook his head a little. Just as soon as mood had shifted to playful, it turned back to somber in seconds. "Have you talked to Jacob about this yet, Ren?" he asked, his amber eyes shining.

"No, that's what I need help with. How do I bring it up?"

"How you always do…" he pressed his palm to my check and made a whooshing sound. "See? Effective, isn't it?"

"I can't just do that! Do you know how stupid that is! Like I can't even say it to him or something…"

"From what you thought, it seems you can't, bunny…" My Uncle Emmett was the sweetest, most lovable person you will ever meet. He's so funny and carefree…

But at that moment, I hated him more than I hated anything else. I wanted more than anything to just hurt him. How could he say such things to me? Was he _trying_ to be mean?

Of course I knew it wasn't true, and I knew that I had no right to think horrid thoughts about him like that, but I couldn't help it. My embarrassment had turned to rage, and it was boiling in my blood, heating up my skin and making my already racing heartbeat accelerate.

No wonder he had so adoringly nicknamed me "bunny"…

"Yes I can!" I shouted, jumping to my feet, glaring at him.

"Sit." He wasn't bothered my fury any more than he would have been bothered by a dust mite floating around by his head. Although, my Grandma Esme always kept the house clean and there wouldn't have been dust mites in the first place…

"No!" I struggled against his strength as he pushed me back into the sofa, gently, but with unbreakable force. I huffed, glaring at him. "Don't make me call Aunt Rose." I threatened.

His eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't." he growled.

I grinned evilly, opening my mouth, drawing in breath, and then his hand smacked against my face, causing my head to snap back against the back of the couch. "Ow." I said, but it wasn't intelligible. He wouldn't remove his hand, so I narrowed my eyes and growled at him, a low sound. My growl was very menacing, I thought. Nothing compared to his or my fathers. It sounded like a kitten's purr next to my Uncle Jasper's wild, ominous, gruff snarl, but it was impressive against my mother or aunts, or my grandmother.

Emmett ignored me, glowering dangerously, his eyes glowing.

So… I bite him. He hollowed in pain, immediately jumping back. As soon as he was far enough away from me to slip past, I bolted, running as fast as I could (which was super-fast, by the way) to my aunt.

"Aunt, Aunt!" I squealed, as I heard my uncle's thundering steps as he raced after me. I quickly slid behind her.

"What do you think you are doing?" my aunt screamed at my uncle, her beautiful features livid.

"That little scamp bit me!" he yelled back, his face just as livid.

"I'm sure she had a reason, Emmett." Rosalie said, her voice shrill with her controlled anger.

"All I did was—" he started.

"He pushed me on the couch and covered my mouth and wouldn't let go, so I bit him."

"See? Emmett, leave the girl alone. Go… wrestle with Jasper, or something." My aunt rolled her as, as my uncle stormed off angrily.

"I hope he doesn't hate me…" I muttered.

"Oh, don't worry about it, dear." My aunt smiled at me. She really was the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen, apart from my mother. Her hair was pure gold, framing her striking face perfectly, shinning with perfection against her perfect, fair skin. Her eyes were the same rich color as the rest of my family's (apart from mine, which were brown. Everyone liked to call them chocolate colored—I preferred mud), and her eyebrows were perfect (I needed to touch mine up soon). "He'll be over it soon. Unless you tore some skin off…"

"No, no! I just bit down." I said.

She nodded. "He'll be over it by tomorrow, I promise." She smiled again, then went and sat on at the huge table, pulling out the chair next to her.

I sat down, and tried to smile, too, but my uncles words were still ringing in my mind.

"You have something to ask me." Aunt Rosalie stated.

I nodded, biting my lip nervously. It was a habit I had clearly inherited from my mother; she did the same thing.

"Go ahead." My aunt urged.

"Uh…" I took the cowardly way and gently pressed my palm against her cool hand, that was laying on the table in front of her.

After a few moments, she pulled her hand from mine, her face serious, her eyes distant as she thought. "Have you spoken to Jacob?" she asked.

Why was everyone asking that? I mean, yeah, I understood that it was between Jacob and I, but… Wasn't it obvious that I needed help figuring out exactly how to bring it up? Why was everyone asking that same stupid question?

I wanted to scream "No, that's why I'm asking you, so I can tell him!!" but that was rude, and no one deserved for me to do that. They were just trying to help, which was exactly what I needed, what I had asked for. I bit my lip again, this time to hold in my unjustified rage as I answered her.

"No."

"You should. This is between you and he, and I think that you should." She nodded, as if convincing herself. I knew she hated Jacob, but she put up with him for my sake, and I loved her even more for it.

"Okay. But how?" I asked.

"How you told me, if you can't just come out and say it."

I wanted to scream. I just nodded, biting my lip again. "Okay."

"Is that it?" she looked confused.

I shrugged. "I guess. You just told me what I wanted to know."

"Ah." She smiled at me. "Well, than, do you want to help me tune my Bentley?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Sure." It would put off having to ask the other members of my family for a while, and I was definitely up for that.

Stalling, I knew, was my worst quality. I couldn't help it. If I was dreading something, I would do about anything to put it off. I still always knew I was going to do it, but I always waited until the last possible moment.

Besides, my aunt's sleek teal blue Bentley Coupe was one of my favorite cars. I had been begging my dad to get me one since she got he got that one for her. Of course, I wanted mine in a more practical color. Black.

**­­­­­­**

**Bentley Coupe: .com/emAlbum/albums/Aftermarket/Kahn%20Design/Bentley%20Continental%20GT-S%20Black%**


	2. Chapter 2 Alice and Jasper

I couldn't put it off any longer, I supposed. My aunt's car was tuned, so was my father's, my mother's (she never drove it), and my uncle's. I had nothing else to do to put it off. I sigh and walked back into the house. Uncle Emmett passed me, his eyes narrowing, and he muttered something extremely softly about "stupid brat". I sighed.

"Sorry! I was upset!" I called after him.

"Yep." It was unenthusiastic and pushed, as if he were forcing himself to accept my apology. He probably was. My aunt really did have a huge hold over him. I guess love could do that to you…

I continued walking, biting my lip and hoping everyone had gone hunting so I could put off all that I was dreading just a little longer. Then, as if she realized (maybe she did), what was going on, my aunt Alice danced down the stairs gracefully. Her legs weren't very long; my aunt was shorter than I was. They weren't long, but they seemed it when she walked. She knew exactly what to wear to enlarge them, too. They were perfect legs. I sighed. I wished I could be as beautiful as her, or my mother, or Rosalie. I wasn't, of course, but I hoped that I might grow into some kind of beauty. I had taken a bit of height from my father, I supposed, since I was almost three whole inches taller than my mother. My hair was the same color as my father's, coppery, almost completely red, but a bit brownish, too. My eyes were the same color my mother's had been when she was human, and my features were huge, all besides my nose, which was too small. My bottom lip poked out a lot more than my top, giving me a sulky, pouting look all the time, as if I was upset about everything.

I wasn't though, I was always happy. Sure, I wondered what would have happened if I had never been born, but not in a depressive way, more in the way where I liked to ponder what life would have been like. I tried to see the future, too. Not like my aunt Alice, but way into the future. And into the past. I tried to think of how the world would have been if things had turned out differently. I guess I was a philosopher in ways, but, ah well.

"Talk to him." My aunt said. Then she paused. "Ah, you want to know how… Well, I don't know how you _do_ tell him, but I think that any way you do, it will be fine. Jacob isn't the type of creature to be mean to the one he loves about anything like that, dear. Don't worry about it." She smiled.

I didn't have a favorite aunt, in general theory. It switched. I guess that made me mean or something, but I liked my aunt Alice more right now because she was helping me more than my aunt Rosalie had. It was so useful for her to see the future. She saved me the embarrassment of telling her, and she got right to the point.

"Thanks." I smiled warmly at her, as she whizzed by me, patting my cheek gently.

"No thanks nessercary, love." She replied, continuing on to wherever she was heading. Probably to do more shopping.

If she bought me a new pair of shoes, I would have a pair for every day of the year, and then some. Still not enough to go with all of my clothes, though. I sighed.

And then, the poor fool, my uncle Jasper walked into the room. I liked to call him Uncle Casper sometimes, just because it annoys him.

I would have addressed him like that now, but I was too nervous. He noticed, of course. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, as he finished descending the stairs that my aunt had just run down.

It was obvious they had been upstairs together, and even more obvious why. Not that I cared much, I knew they loved each other and blah, blah, physical, blah. Whatever.

Sometimes I felt left out. I see my father kiss my mother, and my grandparents pat each other's cheeks adoringly, and I still hadn't kissed Jacob. The most we had done was hug. And not even romantically, just joking around.

"Uh…" I bit my lip again, nervous more with him than anyone else.

He immediately tried to calm me, and I let it soak in, instead of fighting it off, like I normally would of. I sat down on the Elizabethan style loveseat that faced the stairs in the huge hall, and smiled at him. "Can I ask you for advice?" I asked.

"About what?" he asked, sitting down next to me, facing me, as I turned to face him. His face shined in the sunlight that barely escaped the clouds that surrounded us at all times. When he was in the light was the only time that his scars dominated his face, whenever he was out of the light, they were just silverfish lines that slashed around his stunning face, adding a gorgeous effect. Even now, showing themselves to me, I still could not deny that he was handsome. My whole family was gorgeous, yet the left me out when the good luck struck. Thank you, loved ones… I see how it is. See if I ever share my meal with you again. Egocentric pigs.

The calm was still clouding my unease, so I could tell him straight out, with out having to touch him at all. "I want to tell Jacob that I want him to kiss me, or at least do something somewhat lover-like, instead of treating me like a little cousin or something, but I'm not entirely sure how…" Even with the clouding calm, it was still astoundingly easy to speak of this with Jasper.

I would have never expected him to be the easiest one to speak of this with, since we had never really had a heart-to-heart before. I guess there truly was a first time for everything, and you never really knew what to expect.

He nodded, seriously considering it. "Well, Renesmee, I guess, if you don't want to seem like a coward, you should avoid your ability, but I'm sure you've already considered that; you're a bright girl…" he pressed his lips together like he always did when he thought. "Start with the 'We need to talk' line, that always gets a man's attention, but don't be uptight about it, be calming, gentle. Don't snap it, he might get the wrong idea and think you're dumping him."

I nodded, carefully storing all of his words in my mind, as if it were a filing cabinet. "And then just say it?"

"Well, not quite so blunt, but yes. Don't beat around the bush, that make him nervous." He smiled. "Is that all you needed?" he asked.

I nodded back.

"Okay, well, then…" he leaned over and kissed my forehead. "I have to drive your aunt around. I'll try and keep her from buying you anything else. You take after your mother with gifts; you don't want any."

"Thanks, Uncle Jasper." I smiled back, truly grateful.

He walked out, and I sat there, waiting for my nerves to jump back into my body, but they didn't. I was completely content now.

I could understand now why he never spoke. His words were so neatly thought out, so remarkably unambiguously reasonable and bright, that he didn't see the need to waste them on trivial matters. Or, he didn't see the need to help out, when what was going on was never really that great.

I knew that before I was born, he had had difficulties with living the way we lived, feeding the way we fed, but since then; he had grown into the manner we lived, succeeding at it greatly.

I know that, also before I was born, he had helped to save my mother many times, when she had landed herself in trouble. I had also heard that he had tried to kill her himself, when she had cut her finger in his presence. It was so hard to picture my elegant, Civil War era uncle lunging at anyone, but I knew he had taken on thousands of newborns…

I smiled, and my uncle Emmett walked by. "Did you talk to Jazz yet?" he asked, his eyes suddenly alight.

I nodded.

"What did he say? Did he freak out? Did he run?" he looked around for his brother, leaning around corners, peering out of the window…

"He just told me what I should say, how I should handle the situation. He didn't freak out, he was very cool. And he didn't run, he took Aunt Alice shopping."

"Aw, damn. Even he's no fun anymore." Emmett's face fell remarkably, and he slouched down and sat next to me, leaning over, placing his elbow on his knee and his face on his palm. "This place is so boring." He complained.

I shrugged. "Sorry."

"Oh! Hey, do you want to place cards?" he asked, his eyes lighting up again, his face spreading into a grin, exposing all of his pointed teeth.

"Eh." I agreed, hefting myself to my feet with a groan, following him to the dining room table…


	3. Chapter 3 Carlisle and Esme

"Emmett Cullen, what are you doing to that poor girl?" Grandma Esme screamed, flittering into the room, her face shocked and worried.

Uncle Emmett just laughed at her concerned and scolding tone as he handed me my shoes and earrings. He untied my arms from the chair, handing me my shoelaces—his makeshift rope. "Oh, nothing, Esme. Just playing 'Capture the mean, lean, biting machine'. You should try it some time, it's a great way to vent." He explained.

I laughed along with him, this time, still not exactly sure how I had ended up in the head of the table's seat, my arms tied by my lime green shoelaces, when I had been attempting to win back my sparkling emerald earrings that I had lost playing Black Jack.

It didn't even matter to me, anyway. At least Uncle Em wasn't angry with me any more.

"Emmett, you are _never_,_** never**_ to tie that girl down again, do you understand me?" she chided, walking over to me, laying a hand on my shoulder lightly.

"Is there anyone left who doesn't want to ruin my fun anymore?" he asked, not quite joking.

She ignored him. "Are you alright, love?" she asked me, smiling warmly, petting my hair gently.

"I'm great, Grandma." I answered, returning her smile as I quickly pocketed the laces and then put my earring in my ears. I pulled on my lace-less black and green Converse all-stars. "Hey, can I ask you something?" I added.

Emmett rolled his eyes and left swiftly, muttering, "Stupid twerp already got _my_ advice…" as he stormed around the house, banging into things purposely. I hoped he wasn't mad at me again…

"Sure, baby, what is it?" she asked.

"Well, I kind of wanted to ask Jacob to kiss me, but I don't know exactly how to…" It was easier now, that I had an idea what to do. Thanks again, Uncle Casper. I'll sing you your favorite theme song when you get home. Casper, the friendly ghost…

Not only because I had an idea, but also because Esme was so sweet and loving you knew you didn't have to hide anything from her at all. All your secrets would be locked away inside of her brain for life… Or, until my father walked over…

"Ah, I see… Well, you should tell him that you think you need to talk." She paused, thinking of more steps I could take. "And, don't put it off." She added, smirking at me.

I laughed. "Aw, dang, you saw right through me." I sighed dejectedly and she laughed.

"That was quite good, actually. We should get you into acting lessons; get you out there, on the big screen." She said.

I shook my head. "No, no, no." I said. "Me plus audiences equal disaster." I added.

"You can say that again." Emmett called from somewhere in the house.

"Me plus audiences equal disaster." I repeated, earning a growl from him and another laugh from my grandmother.

She smiled. "Back to your question now, I can tell this is bothering you."

She could? I was so mellow right now, though. I really wasn't stressing about it anymore. Maybe it was long term side effects from my uncle Jasper's ability, but I was absolutely comfortable. I was actually looking forward to the conversation I was going to have with Jacob. I loved talking to Jacob. His voice, his smile, he frown… They were all I imagined when we were away from each other, but seeing them in real life was just so much better. Saying his name sent thrills down my spine, but hearing him say my name was much more intense…

"You should talk to him about it calmly. Don't just blurt it out, but don't delay either. Come right out and say it, but try to be nice about it. Not 'Why haven't you kissed me yet, fool!?' but 'Jacob, when is it you are going to kiss me?'" she said.

"Oh…" I added that to my filing-bin, than stood up. "Thank you, Grandma." I said, leaning down and hugging her close.

"You're very welcome, love…" she replied.

"Do you happen to know where Carlisle is? I wanted to talk to him." He was the only opinion left for me to get before I could go home and ask my parents. Not that I was looking forward to asking my dad. I could just imagine the look he would give me…

"Up in his office, dear." She replied.

"Thank you!" I said, running up there, past the gorgeous wood paneled walls of the upstairs corridor, and stopped by the door, knocking twice. It was our secret knock, so he knew it was me, and not another member of the family, if he wasn't paying attention to footsteps.

"Come in, Nessie, dear." He called, right before I pulled the door open and bolted through it, past the brilliant, colorful, mastered paintings that hung all around the dimly lighted room.

"Hi." I said, as I sat on the sofa facing his desk, where he sat, reading some book. Probably Mr. Boring-Mac-Boring's Medicine Dictionary from 1743. Maybe he helped write it…

"Hello," he greeted, his eyes shining with amusement at my apparent impatience. I just wanted to go ask my parents, and then ask Jacob. I knew I could have just gone straight to Jacob, but my conscience wouldn't let me. I had made a plan to ask for all the advice I could, and I would honor that plan…

I was weird like that. I always followed through. Always. I couldn't help it. I always finished what I started, like books, or series, or movie series… It was pretty annoying, I guess, to those around me. Annoying to myself, too, in this case, at least.

I just wanted to see Jacob, to be close enough to him to smell his mouthwatering sent…

"I need advice. I want to ask Jacob to kiss me. How?" I asked.

He nodded. "I was wondering when that stage would hit you…" he said.

"Carlisle, I am not a science project. I am your grand-daughter, asking for advice. Not a review on teenage hormones." I was being a bit snappy, I knew, but I couldn't help it. I was rushing, and I had always hated the fact that Carlisle sometimes treated me more like an experiment than a family member. I knew it was for my own good, to determine how long I had to live and stuff like that, but it was annoying…

"Right, sorry." He smiled, unbothered by my mini-rant. "Well, tell him that you want to—" he started.

"Talk about us, then nicely ask him why he hasn't kissed me yet, implying heavily that I want him to kiss me… Right?" I asked, talking rapidly.

He laughed and nodded. "That's the zest of it, really." He said.

"Okay, thanks, bye." I ran out of there again, and to the house a hundred yards to the left, which was my parents, and my own. I could hear his laughter at my haste, and I knew that he would tell Esme later, but I wasn't worried about the way I would look to them at the moment. I was anxious to get this over with, and to get my kiss…


	4. Chapter 4 Mom and Dad

"Mom?" I asked, walking into her and Dad's room, sitting on their bed. I didn't even know why they had one. We they didn't need to sleep, and no one ever came over.

"Yeah, Nessie?" she asked, as she dashed around the room looking for something. She was _always_ looking for something. I had no idea what.

My father looked up when I walked in, and I tried not to think about what I wanted to talk to my mother about, but I knew I wasn't fooling him. His eyes, amber colored like the rest of my family's were after they hunted, widened to a size I never imagined possible for him, and he gasped. I blushed, but hid it well, pressing my hair down into my face, a nervous habit of mine. I liked to hide my face from everyone else when I was got too shy to handle anything around me. It was like curtaining myself in safety or something.

My mom heard my father's quick, short intake of breath and look from me to him, her expression rapidly changing from confused to suspicious to excitedly interested.

"What is it, Edward?" she asked, although she was now staring intently at me, her tawny eyes glowing with her curiosity.

"Uh… Well, Ness, would you like to tell your mother what you want to talk about or do you want me to?" my father asked, turning to look at me, not angry like I had expected him to be.

Perhaps I watched too much television, but normally father's freaked out when the topic of sex was brought up. My dad looked completely calm.

Of course, those television fathers were human, and my father wasn't…

"Err…" I paused to consider my options. I could have my father tell my mother, and have her come to me. That was way less embarrassing than having to bring it up myself. I hated bringing up topics like this. Not that my mother was mean about it, but it was just so… personal. I didn't even want to bring up this topic with Jacob, and he was my other half.

But, then again, if I didn't get used to doing things on my own, I would never be able to. I couldn't live off my father and mother my whole life. Or, for eternity, apparently, since that was how long I was going to live.

"No, Daddy, I'll say it…" I stopped again. "But, err Daddy?"

"What?" for once he had no idea what I was thinking.

"Oh, please, Edward, I can't read minds and even I know what she's talking about. She wants you out. Leave." My mother started to push my father out of the door, and he didn't resist.

"_Oh_." He nodded, as my mother pushed him out of the doorway. He leaned over and kissed her, in one of those passionate kisses everyone reads about, or sees in those horrendously sappy romance movies.

I guess I should have been grossed out, or at least pretended to be, but I liked seeing how in love my parents were. It gave me hope for myself. But it wasn't only my parents who were madly and blindingly in love, it was also my Aunt Rosalie and my Uncle Emmett, my Aunt Alice and my Uncle Jazz, my grandmother Esme and my grandfather Carlisle, too. All perfect matches, as if someone were pairing them up like socks out of a dryer.

I was a lucky child, and I knew it. I was loved, and I love my family. Not only that, but I didn't have to search until my dying day to find my true love—he had been there since before I was born.

And that brought me back to the topic I was dreading. My mother walked over and sat next to me on the bed. "You want to talk about sex, huh?" she asked, her face somber.

I nodded. Thank god she had brought it up.

"Why? Has Jacob been pushing—?"

I cut her off before she could finish. "NO!" I exclaimed. "…I mean… no. Not at all. I just… I want to before my body never changes again… You always said that having me was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and Aunt Rose said she always wanted a child, and the more I think about it, the more I realize I want a child myself…" I blushed deeper than before now, my face heating up.

"Oh." She nodded, understanding. I knew she would. My mom always understood exactly what I meant, even if I didn't. "What did Jacob say?"

"That's the thing, mom, I don't know how to bring it up with him…" I muttered, looking away and pressing my hair to my face even more as I turned even more scarlet.

"Well, just talk to him about it. I'm sure he'll understand." She smiled, gently lifting my hair from my face. "Ren, he loves you. You know that."

I sighed. "I know, I know. I just feel so awkward talking about this…"

"I understand. Oh, got, trust me, I understand." She nodded. "I'm just as awkward about that kind of stuff too, honey." She assured me.

I laughed, thinking of all the stories she had told me about her being human. Super-mega klutz. I looked out the window, out to Wisconsin skyline. Which, by the way, is really nothing at all but clouds. Lots of cloud, all hanging heavy and low, full of rain, especially if you live in Green Bay, on the banks of Lake Michigan. Sometimes, I really hated it here. It was even rainier than Forks, Washington, where we used to live, before people started noticing that my family never aged. No one there even knew about me besides my grandfather Charlie. I called him every other night.

Why did we always choose such rain-filled places to live? Because, when my family goes out into the sun, their skin shines and sparkles like diamonds, throwing of little rainbows of light, creating this amazing aura around them. It happens to me, too, but not that much. Just enough to make me look good in any lighting.

In case you haven't taken my hints yet, my family and I aren't human. Every member of my family is a vampire besides Grandpa Swan, who is human. Oh, and Jake's a shape shifter. I'm half-human, half-vampire. My mother had be when she was still human, when my father was a vampire. I know, it's weird. Don't worry you'll get it soon enough. It took me a while to understand.

"Okay, well… I guess you're right. I'll go talk to him." I grumbled to my mother, after staring at the choppy waters of the giant lake, just considering my options.

"That's my girl." She leans over for a hug, and I inhale her sent, wrapping my arms around her as her's encircle me.

My mother has the best sent ever. It's even better than my father's. She smells like orange blossoms and raspberries, but also like mint and passion fruit. It's odd, but it still smells amazing. It's second to only one other smell in the world on my list.

I step away quickly, and walk out of the house, rubbing my arms. I wasn't cold, not at all, I was just a nervous. I really did not want to be having this conversation with Jake at all.

I reached the entrance to the forest, where Jake had left to go hunting that morning. He had promised he'd stay in earshot, in case I needed him.

"Jake?" I called out, after taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. Even if I was shaking on the inside, I had to seem certain of myself on the outside or he would never take me seriously. That was the thing about Jake, he was such a jester. Everything you said, unless you were perfectly sure and somber about, he would crack a joke at. Not that I minded, I loved that about it. He was fun and crazy…

"What is it, Nessie? Are you okay?" he asked, his voice full of worry and concern, as he came running towards me. It was obvious he had just slipped on his clothes.

When he phased into his wolf-form (when he shape-shifted into a huge, furry beast who sort of resembled a wolf, that is), his clothes tore off. So, he just carried them around while he was a wolf, taking them off before he turned. It was so logical; it surprised me he had thought of it, sometimes.

Not that Jake is stupid; he just would rather have fun than be smart.

"Yes, Jake, I'm fine. I think…" I paused and took a deep breath. "I think, Jacob, that you and I need to have a talk. About, you know… us." I gestured in between us with my hand.

I watched as his eyes gorgeous black eyes expanded. "Oh, damn, here we go. Just like your mother, hmm?"


	5. Chapter 5 Woot the end

"What are you talking about?" I asked him, completely confused.

What the hell did he mean? Like my mother? What the heck did she have to do with anything?

"You've realized that you don't lo—" he started, still where he had stopped when I had called him, a few yards away.

"Oh! No!" I interrupted, quickly, now understanding what he meant. He thought I was "dumping" him. Although, how did you break up with your soul mate? Is it even possible to do so? To say that you didn't want them, and mean it?

Sometimes, true love confused me. It had to be like every other force in the world. It had to have rules. Right?

If so, did it have conditions, too? Was there some kind of checklist?

**nice**- check!

**funny**- check!

**cute**- check!

**smart**- blank!

Damn it! Ah, oh well. 75% is so bad…

Or was it that love was so amazing, so spectacular, and great that, for once, we can just toss out all of the rules and regulations? Is love something meant for us just to enjoy?

But, then again, if that were true, than why does love come as a package deal with so many emotions? Rage, envy, lust—

All the drama those emotions created.

If love were to just be enjoyed, why was there so much pain and tragedy in so many cases? Was there ever really a happily ever after?

Was I just being too cynical?

"Jake, I love you. That's not what this is about at all." I stopped and sighed heavily, to prepare myself.

"What is it, then?" he asked, his tone much, much kinder now.

"Jakes, I just… Well… It's just…. We haven't even kissed yet, after nine years!" And then, I couldn't help myself. I hadn't even known I was thinking it, but it just slipped out. "You've kissed my _mother_, though." I sounded bitter and mean…

"Hey! You weren't even _born_ yet!" He cried, but a small smile spread across his lips, stretching his coffee colored skin up.

"Yeah, yeah." I waved that fact away.

"That's what this is about? You want me to kiss you?" he asked, his smile growing.

It's that smile, so innocent and kind, that killed all of my courage. I blushed, and immediately started fussing with my hair, pushing the shiny curls against my face. "No, no. Just… never mind, okay? Just forget I even brought it up…" I was almost pleading with him.

"Ness—" he began.

I interrupted him again. "Forget it!" I commanded, but my voice didn't hold. It broke; it wavered. Why did that happen to me at the worst time? It always gave me away. When I was lying, when I was nervous, excited…

And it wasn't like they could confuse one emotion for the others, because it broke in certain ways. When I was lying, is squeaked. When I was nervous or embarrassed, it gave out… Stupid voice… Grr…

"Nessie, you know you can talk to me about anything." Jacob said, finally walking to me, taking my hands in his. He hold was strong, but still gentle, and his skin was just a bit warmer than my own, and the added heat felt lovely. He smelled so good, no matter what my family thought…

"Never mind, Jacob." My voice didn't break this time, at least. I didn't know why it even mattered any more. I was touching him, he knew what I had thought, what I wanted to say.

Out of nowhere, his serious expression changed, and he looked… shocked? "Oh, Ness, you thought that I don't want to kiss you?" he asked, his face now soft.

I couldn't speak; there was a huge ball of nerves lodged deep inside my each of my air-waves, refusing to budge at all. I just nodded, not even sure if he had wanted an answer to his question.

"Renesmee," he paused and shook his head. "Can't you see that I want nothing more in the world than to kiss you?" he laughed, but not _at_ me.

I adored the sound of his laugh. It was such an amazing sound. It was gravelly and rough, just like him. Smoky, almost. It fit him perfectly, just like his gorgeous faultlessly tanned skin, his coal colored, deeply expressive eyes, his high, flat cheekbones, and his soft, long black hair… My Jacob was too handsome.

My hands were still in his, and he knew exactly what I was thinking and feeling at exactly the same moment I did. He grinned at me, and, under his silky, curled lashes, his eyes were alight with more hilarity.

"I'm too handsome?" he asked, now smirking evilly at me. I slapped his arm in a teasing way, fakely glaring at him. He just laughed again, pulling me closer to him, against his chest. "You're too gorgeous." He whispered, his mouth just brushing the spot right below my right ear. I shook my head, careful not to hit him as I did so, disagreeing with him. He nodded against my neck. Or, was he nuzzling me? I had no idea.

He was leaning over so he could reach me, but I didn't want him to strain his muscles, so I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my palm against it to show him what I wanted. He laughed once more and lifted me of the ground gently. I giggled, and then pressed my cheek against his shoulder, smiling.

"Hey, Jake, guess what." I said, my voice muffled against his skin.

"Oh, no, I hate guessing games." He complained.

"Oh, just say what." I let my smiled spread even wider.

"Okay, okay, pushy…" he kissed my hair. "What?" he asked, overly feigning enthusiasm.

"I love you."

He chuckled. "Hey, Ren, guess what."

"Mm?" I asked.

"I don't love you." He stopped. "I am devoted to you." He added.

I giggled again. "You beat me." I let out an overly dramatic sigh of being conquered.

"You know what else?"

"No, I'm not that smart."

He laughed. "You probably already know, but, oh well, I'm telling you anyway."

"Okay."

"I _do_ want to kiss you." He said.

"Yay me!" I cried, grinning.

He smiled against my cheek. "The reason why I haven't yet isn't because of me not wanting to, or Bella… I just don't want to rush things." He said. "Besides," he added. "What was I supposed to say?" he smirked at me, pulling away to look at me more clearly.

"Hey, Ness, you're almost all grown, what do you want to do?" I winked at him twice.

His loud, obnoxious laugh rang out louder than usual. I had made a funny. "Because that so would have world." He rolled his eyes, still sniggered.

"It probably would have."

"… Yeah, probably." He agreed, grinning.

"Look, Jake, I don't want to rush you or anything… You don't have to." I muttered.

"Renesmee, I want to." He put me down, back on my feet, to stare ardently down into my eyes. I turned my head, looking at the dirty ground (it was dirt…), away from his gaze, and his tender hands cupped my face, turning it towards him, forcing me to meet his severe eyes. I put my hands on his wrists, to pull his grasp off of me, but I didn't. I couldn't. I was mesmerized.

"I love you." He murmured, his voice more affectionate than I had ever heard it before.

"I know." I replied, almost automatically, unable to raise my voice higher than a whisper. "Me too." I added.

I expected him to make some snippy comment about how I was narcissistic, or something but his lips remained pressed tightly together.

I guess I should have expected it. I should have know what he was about to do when he dipped his head, but I had no idea. He closed the distance between our lips, brushing his to mine. His lips were yielding and pleasant, and they tasted like fresh, woodsy air, and something else, so delicious that I was unable to name it, because I was too stunned by it. His earthy sent surrounded me, tremendously strong, not that I minded. It was amazing; it was the best sensation I had ever experienced. He didn't take at all, he just gave. He gave his heart, his love, his life all in one kiss, and I replaced them all with my own, with out being asked.

I realized it that moment that _that_ was love. Giving and receiving, without asking or being asked. I no longer hated true love for confusing me, I worshipped it for choosing me. All of my nerves, my confusion, and my frustrations slipped away with out a sound. I knew then that I had stressed everything for no reason. I should have known that no matter what I had said it would still have been as effortlessly amazing as it was now.

As amazing as him, as my Jacob.

He pulled away to smiled down at me. "Hey, where are your shoelaces?"


End file.
